Writing Concepts I've Had to Abandon

Nepalese Monkey Farmers

The shared experiences of Jimi Hendrix and Martha Stewart

Reggae musings of the rare Caribbean Elk

George W. Bush’s grammarmisms explained

101 Great Recipes using Mayonnaise and Oysters

Enraged Republican Rednecks who consider homosexuality okay and prefer not to keep guns in the house

How people on the street feel about an enormous mole on my back

Synonyms for “albatross”

Historical examples of University tuition decreases

Plants that thrive in the microwave

How many ways can I puncture my skin?

I spend an evening shouting insults at guys coming out of the Harley bar

Helium makes your voice high—what do other gases do?

Three-hole punchers: the conspiracy against humanity

Trying to vacuum stuff

What can magnets destroy when you’re out of floppy disks?

Standing in the yard, screaming, urinating

Convincing Pat Buchanan there are occasional factual errors in his literature

Making origami out of iron plates

Can I digest this?

Teaching Klingon to Senior Citizens

Playing tennis with fruit

Interesting things found in a public restroom

Homemade lasers

Trying to reason with the guy living under the bridge

Testing just how far you can push the IRS

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