Mission Statement

After a rigorous post-holiday meeting here at BuriedintheNoise-dot-com world headquarters, we have decided to shift paradigms, think outside the box, and achieve quality through incentive-laden policy transitions with stock options. In other words, like any other good old-fashioned, golden parachute-enabled American Corporation, spend a ridiculous amount of time creating policy. Some opposition was raised, but we've dismissed all dissidents the hard way (out the window, parachute replaced with straight jacket). First order of business: come up with a Mission Statement.

BuriedintheNoise-dot-com Mission Statement

1. Provide four minutes of entertainment to all those seeking distraction every day.
The daily four minutes may be divided up. This is merely an average. For example, I might generate two minutes of entertainment every 12 hours. Or eight minutes every other day. Or 72,538 minutes every 49.65 years.

2. Make sure the site doesn't look like something you shouldn't be looking at while surfing at work.
Harkening back to the days of the "Boss" key on DOS software, BuriedintheNoise-dot-com will always cater to the sneaky surfer. No flashing graphics, no bright obviously-this-is-not-work colors, no scantily clad babe pictures. (Please send examples of what I shouldn't post here.)

3. Achieve dictatorial world domination.
Wait, this might go better in the "Vision Statement"...Oh well, keep it for now. I'd hate to achieve it before the Vision Statement is in place, possibly compromising my ability to rule with the merciless iron grip I have imagined.

Features index

2002 BuriedintheNoise.com
Permission for reproduction will be granted if you ask nicely.