Signs You’re Playing Too Much ‘Risk’

You refer to sleep as your “reinforcement phase.”

You figure you’re owed a continent bonus if you own similarly-colored pieces of furniture.

You claim to be from Western United States.

Your desk faces northwestward because it’s easiest to defend.

You’ve derived an intricate spreadsheet computing ways to hold North Africa.

You postpone a visit to Southern Europe on the premise that it is too vulnerable to attack by Egypt.

You are unclear on whether Irkutsk is a real country.
Corollary: You can pronounce “Irkutsk”.

You find nothing unusual about playing a nineteen-hour board game.

You refuse to acknowledge anyone who fails to address you as “General.”

You have an irrational hatred of Madagascar.

You suspect horses can be constructed using five men.

You suspect cannons can be constructed using two horses.

Daily decisions are governed by die rolls. Okay, we can add fabric softener to the laundry if I roll above a three...

You take notes during Patton, occasionally impersonating George C. Scott.

You really, really like to say “Kamchatka!”

Features index

2002 BuriedintheNoise.com
Permission for reproduction will be granted if you ask nicely.