Do the thing with your fingersOK, classic Trek.  I’m going to start right in the middle of the thing because I’ve seen most of the early episodes recently.  I’ll circle around and catch them later.  Also I’ll go by disc order, which is the same as episode airdate order.  I’m not going to worry to much about spoilers since these shows are, you know, over 40 years old.

Set phasers to minimum kill and let’s roll.

38. Metamorphosis. Pretty standard Trek fare to start us out.  An Enterprise shuttle encounters a weird probe in space, which disables it and strands it on the surface of a nearby planet.  The only person here is Zefram Cochrane, famous known as the inventor of warp drive, only that’s sorta weird because Zefram Cochrane had been lost in space 150 years before.  Also he was 87 at the time, and is now a young man.  Events are further complicated (aren’t they always!) by the presence of diplomat Nancy Hedford, whose rare and fatal disease chooses this precise moment to cause her serious health issues.  Kirk spends most of episode slowly figuring out Cochrane’s relationship to “The Companion,” an alien entity that restored Cochrane’s health and keeps him company.  The Companion won’t let them leave or help Hedford in any way, but eventually they figure out a way to make it happen and all is well.  Episodes like this usually bore me a bit: there is a stubborn alien preventing people from doing something.  They talk to it for a while, and then they get it to do what they want and wrap things up.  Usually you just hope the themes are interesting.  In this case, a yes: considering their interaction, the Companion can really only be considered to have a sort of intimate relationship to Cochrane.  The thought instantly disgusts him, which highly amuses the progressive Enterprise crew, themselves frequent intimates with a variety of species.  Spock’s killer line: “Fascinating.  A totally parochial attitude.”  All told, a decent episode with some interesting ideas.  4 out of 5.

Trek tropes (number of instances encountered in series so far in parentheses):

  • Strange probe encountered in space (1)
  • Badger alien until you get what you want (1)
  • Guest star abandons life for new existence (1)

39. Journey to Babel. Escorting a shipful of diplomats to political talks, the Enterprise picks up Vulcan Ambassador Sarek and his wife Amanda.  If you have never watched any Trek before or it’s November 1967 where you are, it will come as a surprise to you to learn that these are Spock’s parents.  We learn that Spock and his father aren’t on speaking terms, dating back to when Spock joined Starfleet against his father’s wishes.  Some of the workings of Spock’s familial relations are covered here, along with an assassination plot, mysterious space probe, and the health problems of Sarek.  A lot happens and it makes for a highly suspenseful, terrific episode.  A great quandary comes from Spock’s refusal to leave command while Kirk is injured, despite Spock being needed for a blood transfusion for his father.  Lots of gem scenes about duty, logic versus emotion, and whether you should give up a dangerous amount of your blood in a highly risky surgery for someone that doesn’t like you.  Spock’s killer line: “Worry is a human emotion, Captain.  I accept what has happened.”  Great ending with McCoy hopelessely trying to keep Spock and Kirk in Sick Bay while both recover. Everything good about Star Trek on display here: 5 out of 5.

Trek tropes (number of instances encountered in series so far in parentheses):

  • Strange probe encountered in space (2)
  • Highly experimental plan with low probability of success somehow works anyway (1)
  • Lighthearted banter to close episode (1)

Though mine is black and has a picture of Artie on the screen.

  1. Signal strength indicator. Shows access to the data network, unless you are moving, indoors, or outside a major metropolitan area of the United States. Also shows access to the phone network, which drops to zero when call is placed.
  2. Volume buttons. Conveniently located except when phone is in use.
  3. Battery indicator. Reads 100% full unless the phone has been used, in which case it turns red and requires recharging.
  4. Voice activator. Placed in a position that will guarantee repeated accidental use. Never used on purpose.
  5. E-mail application that duplicates all of your Gmail messages.
  6. Browser application. Generally crashes immediately upon use.  Occasionally loads 99% of page, then crashes.
  7. Other primary applications. Never used.
  8. Access to all applications. Use to access Blackberry store to search for apps. Abandon search when no suitable apps with better than 2-star user reviews are located.
  9. Button of mystery. Function unknown.
  10. Cancel button. Uses: (1) Press once to end call. (2) Punch hard to cancel crashed applications.  (3) Frantically press repeatedly to cancel voice control [see #4] before anything weird happens.
  11. Scroll wheel.  Occasionally fails to scroll up.  Chance of complete eventual failure: 100%.
  12. Receive call button.  Never used. 🙁
  13. Keyboard. Conveniently designed to press as many keys as possible simultaneously.

A Flintstone Christmas

A standard Christmas special plotline in cartoons is that Santa needs help, so the familiar characters help, and it’s the best Christmas ever.  That’s pretty much what happens here.  Santa sprains his ankle on Fred’s roof, so Fred and Barney are called into action to save Christmas.  Turns out it’s pretty easy to do: the reindeer know where to go, the sleigh is magic, the toy bag is magic.  They have a mishap and accidentally dump all the toys out over China, so they radio Santa (of course his sleigh has a CB, in prehistoric times, as does the Flintstones’ house, apparently) who tells them to just hit the North Pole and get a toy refill.  They drop by and the elves just whip up a whole new batch of toys without complaint so the journey can continue.  Then they wrap up their route by just dumping the toys at the houses for the rest of the night, rather than actually entering the houses and leaving them under the trees, the animators and producers wanting to get this turkey over with as fast as Fred and Barney.  Oops!  They’re late for the work thing where Fred was playing Santa and the boss and wives will be mad!  Warning: extremely dated wives being mad at oafish husbands humor.  Oh, don’t worry, they make it.  I’m getting bored just recapping this.  Overall: really bland and boring and adding nothing to the Christmas specials canon. Skip it.

Olive, the Other Reindeer

Hadn’t seen this one before.  Turned out to be a lot of fun.  The story is about Olive the dog, who hears on the radio that Blitzen is injured and won’t be able to fly, possibly meaning that Santa will have to cancel his trip, unless he can make it with “all of the other reindeer.”  Mishearing this as “Olive the other reindeer,” she undertakes a journey to the North Pole to help out.  She makes a friend–Martini, the somewhat crooked sales-penguin–and an enemy, an evil mailman bent on getting Christmas canceled so he can be relieved of his annual holiday catalog burden.  The show was consistently funny and imaginative.  Really interesting animation.  Lots of great voices: tons of people from Futurama, Michael Stipe as Blitzen.  Overall: a good one that seems underrated, keep an eye out for it.

Yo Gabba Gabba!

If you were to tell me I am too old for a TV show, particularly a holiday special, I would tell you to guess again.  Though once in a while you would be right, and this is one of those times.  I’ve only seen a few episodes of Yo Gabba Gabba! because I am most definitely too old for it.  It’s worth a laugh though, anyway.  For a while.  It gets a little tedious unless you are four and dancing along, I think.  From a 33-year-old eye, it’s just pretty crazy.  Lots of colors and bizarre songs and stories that feel like they were made up on the spot by kids (wait–they probably were).  The holiday special is only sort of a holiday special.  It’s the usual YGG! fare but with some winter and gift-giving stories.  The creatures all apparently like both of these things.  Well, to be clear, the robot didn’t like winter at first, but his friends’ song convinced him it was all good.  Overall: pass.  Unless you are four.

There is a current NFL player with my name.  An enjoyable consequence is that sometimes he’ll make a big play and announcers scream my name excitedly!  Here is a collection of such highlights:

*From just yesterday! Josh Wilson returns an interception for a game-winning touchdown in overtime

*Al Michaels says it really enthusiastically.

*Back when he was with the Seahawks, picking on the lowly Rams.  Great finish for Josh Wilson.

*Holy smokes, Josh Wilson, 89 yards!  (And does not drop dead.)

*Dick Stockton calls it, then spends some time rifling through his notes figuring out who Josh Wilson is.